So we all know growing up is about choices. Choices about education, finances, family & friends. Choices mold every moment of every breath we take. Whether its a choice to be frugal or splurge; to go to work or lay out; to get mad or walk away; or even to take that step and call instead of being stubborn and waiting.
I’m guilty of making bad choices, we all are. Sometime at the end of last year, I think in November, I decided I needed to pay attention to my choices. I made some healthy changes in my life that have been unbelievably beneficial. Those choices set the stage for a family life that I never expected. They set the stage for a lot more happiness than I know how to handle.
Lately though, something’s been nagging at me. I’m sleeping less, staying consumed in my thoughts more and I haven’t been able to put my finger on exactly what it is. I think I might … I’m not sure I’m right, but I figured out tonight that I’ve been stubborn and hateful and resentful and downright irritated about a situation that I can’t really control. Well maybe I can.
I look at my life and I dont really have those feelings [stubbornness, hate, resent, irritation] except towards one person. I’m not sure if its fair that I feel this way. Maybe I should have seen it coming, women never like me; why should she have been any different?
I guess I need to be the “bigger” person, but I’m not really sure I want to. I’m not so sure this was my fault. I guess part of being an adult is taking responsibility for things you cant control.
But if making adult choices is about admitting fault thats not yours, I dont wanna be one. If its solely biting the bullet and opening the lines of communication I might be able to do that. But God help me if she tries to lay blame…