So apparently I’m being tested…I’m sure you all saw the fb update. Yes I’m good at vaguebooking, but sometimes I wanna say things I can’t or I wanna talk about things and don’t know how.
My life has changed over the last few months. Mostly emotionally. I’m not referencing a relationship btw. I’ve been learning a lot emotionally with every step I take. I’ve learned a great deal about how I love and why I love and who I love. It’s through that Love that I’ve had the pleasure of emotional connections which I never could have foreseen. Each day gives me a little more happiness and a little more balance.
As with every big educational experience; there’s normally a test at the end or pop quizzes throughout. Some people have walked back into my life recently. People I’ve been involved with or who wanted to be involved with me. Obviously for whatever reason, none of these situations worked out in the past. Its my nature however to end things sweetly or at least make sure people know that I don’t hold grudges and we can always be friends.
Needless to say, these opportunities that have arisen have got me thinking. Not one of these associations were ended appropriately. They just kinda disintegrated. So I guess this is my chance to analyze what’s really important; to focus on what should or should not happen in these friendships. I can’t help but think I’m supposed to learn from each situation.
But HOW can you make someone understand your life has taken a sudden turn? How can you make someone who never let go see that I’m just fine like I am and they have to be happy in the friend category? Better yet, how can you satisfy an insatiable spark when its circumstances won’t allow it to ignite or smolder?
I know I’m being vague and I’m sorry. Its just I’m happy where my life is, even if I am single. Yea I’d like something more, but not from any of the 3 that have shown up. Certainly not from the 4th which I’m sure will call soon enough.
I guess I’m just looking for answers. I’ve gotten some and I’m thankful for them. As for the midterm for Life 101, I think I’m taking a break. I’ve handled it pretty well so far.