So I don’t have kids and you could argue that I don’t know what I’m talking about but when I was 19 I left, and when I was 21 I moved to Texas because I wanted to and I left my mama in tears. Mom and I have fought many times over the years. There were times I didn’t think it would ever get better. Mom always said I could come to her with anything…she’d say I might get mad but I’ll cool down eventually and we’ll talk about it. I have taken that thought and applied it to everyone in my life. I am a redhead and I do have a temper. I am a woman and can be a little crazy at times; but if you interview the people in my life, they will tell you…I always apologize if I’m wrong, I’m learning to admit when my woman genes got the better of me and 9 times out of 10 I can step out of the box to put things in perspective.
I have been blessed with a new challenge now. It seems like daily people are challenging my motives, my judgment and my faith. Its not enough that I have my own stresses and my own challenges and my own skeletons, I’ve taken on these stresses for another because I know with a little help she’ll fly. Yes I’m very sensitive about the subject but that’s because no one seems to have any faith. We both deserve a pat on the back for being so calm in all the chaos. Life is starting to form a new structure and routine that’s different for everyone but its working.
I am very lucky that although I naturally want to take control I remember what its like.
The doctors and psychologists tell you that the first five years of a child’s life are the most important. Those five years are where and how a child develops the beginning stages of social skills, common sense, to differentiate right from wrong and the events that occur in those years stay with a person for life. I believe that the first year after high school is similar. Its in that year that you realize who and where your support system is. You learn to manage your life and your finances and you create the goals and plan that will mold the rest of your adult life. Even further the friends and family you make after high school are most times the people you will spend the rest of your life with.
So when your family tells you its not gonna happen, that you can’t and won’t carry out your plan…it hurts. It cuts deep into the spot in your heart reserved for the almost invisible hope that you can make your parents proud.
I’m trying very hard to tip-toe around those emotions and instead of putting up roadblocks, I’m building bridges and loops. Perseverance overrides prejudice and guilt. Life is more than making people happy. Life is doing everything you can while your breathing so that you can look back and be proud of every moment no matter what who said and when.
I’m pretty sure the statistics are against us. I’m also pretty sure that strong willed women get what they want. There is no doubt in my mind that the choices made were the right ones. I just wish the world had as much faith in us as I have in it.