Spinning.

Its at this hour that I hate being awake.
Its 336 in the morning & although I’m happy to be awake I hate it because my mind starts spinning and my imagination runs wild. I’m pretty sure late nights and early mornings are what breed both creativity and insanity. Its at this hour that I question my life and those in it and their intentions and my purpose and the road ahead.  Asking myself what am I doing and where am I going and if I don’t jump on opportunity then what happens after that. Am I missing out on what should be. Did happily ever after already pass me up or is it waiting at the airport or simply sleeping across town.  The silence out here is deafeningly peaceful tonight….the train in the distance..the crickets behind me….the sky so dark it seems you could dive into its depths. I need peace to find me somewhere & I’m pretty sure its not waiting on the banks this morning but that’s definitely where I’m headed.  To the banks of creativity waiting patiently for the sun to wake her sleepy head….while I explore the limits of art.   As I proofread my writing for the night I realize I’m rambling but that’s just a peek into the nonsense in my head. Nonsense I call it but I’m certain its not.  Its this constant chatter that keeps me alive and excited to see a new day.  If I found my happily ever after would I really be happy. Do I really want that peace or would I go crazy without that craziness.  My life continues day by day powered by this constant chatter and need to go.  I certainly would probably wither away without it all…I think. Or would I be an even happier girl. God only knows but one things for certain I’m spinning around right now and I don’t think toppling is an option.

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