Yea I ramble, especially in my writing. This piece changed pace so many times I can’t remember where I was headed in the 1st place. Insomnia sometimes gets the best of us.
So I’m gonna start this blog with a disclaimer. The statements that follow are a little more than emotion but far from proven fact. These statements need neither your approval nor your argument because I’m not writing to educate but simply to document how I see and feel things.
Its funny what you see when you watch. If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line then why isn’t that the road we always take. Sometimes I guess the shortest distance doesn’t always seem like the easy choice and we all know life isn’t easy but don’t we all secretly wish it was?
I think we can all agree that what is easy isn’t always right and if its not easy then your probably gonna have to work at it. Pretending it’ll go away just doesn’t work. Hiding in the sand doesn’t either. It’s so easy to hide behind excuses and shelter yourself from the world but when you lay down at night you have to face the truth.
Better yet what about when you know what’s wrong and you know what your doing but secretly you don’t wanna fix it because you can hide behind it. Life has a strange way… well God has this way of putting things in your path that sometimes don’t make sense and can drive you crazy if you let them but in the end there is always a reason. I’m learning to embrace the things and people that are put in front of me but sometimes its difficult when you watch people walk around their obstacles. Obstacles seem to always find their way back in front of you until you deal with them.
I’m trying to walk a straight line but it seems every time I’m almost there a tangent walks in. Someone told me once that I wouldn’t believe what life would be two years after our conversation. Eight months after that conversation I’m seeing changes already. Those changes however can’t seem to follow a straight line. Its like that long stretch of highway while your traveling; just when you start to get comfortable, you set your cruise and its smooth sailing….the speed limit changes. It seems like things are so so close, the speed limits gonna change soon. I can feel it.
I’m fortunate that for the most part I’ve never really had to work hard at anything. Life has always kinda fell in my lap. But things are starting to change and its not so easy this time; but the balls not in my court either. Its kind of a catch 22 in that I can work hard all day long but as long as the roadblock is up my efforts feel in vain. Its ok though. My life, my empathetic nature, my sincere and honest easy love doesn’t change. Ill always be here and maybe one day my fairy tale ending will too. I’m enjoying every breath but sometimes its nice to stop and realize you lost a day because you were happy.