Four letter words.

So I might have found a friend who I can talk to, which might have helped me neglect my blog. My apologies. I feel tonight is a night for writing. I feel like maybe if I put it on paper, type it out and read it, maybe just maybe I can make others understand. I feel sometimes like I see everything a little differently and I’m not sure if my view is skewed or correct.

Lust. Love.
Four letter words are very commonly interchanged in people’s lives as if they are the same, but I see them as very different. Like skyscrapers in separate cities across the globe, I’m not sure how anyone could confuse them.

…..

Not to be confusing, but so many times lately, I start a blog with an agenda in mind and then either get sidetracked or forget what I intended in the first place. As is the case in this blog. The first two paragraphs were written on July 13 and today July 19, I realized that the conversation for the night related to the beginning of my unfinished blog.

So in conversation tonight, I suggested that “dangerous waters bring an undertow”. This statement is so true on so many levels; whether it be on a literal one, as in the ocean…or it be emotional territory one might not understand completely. As with any large body of water, once cannot truly understand its power until they have been engulfed in its monumental strength, an event that unfortunately most do not recover from…Ive found this also rings true emotionally, whether it be in lust, love or an event that confuses the two.

As the years pass, I find myself involved in relationships that seem to get more intense and more emotional as the years pass. I guess that’s part of aging. However, once you’ve really loved, or you think you’ve really loved, you don’t believe that anything could ever get harder or more intense. I’m learning that with every passing relationship, intimate or platonic, you learn something about yourself that you could never apply to your past relationships, therefore making your future relationships that much more complicated with the new plethora of uncovered information. My apologies if your confused already, I’m probably rambling since I have a habit of doing so, but if you’re following me, kudos there is more :)

Well there was more, but my a.d.d. got the best of me again and tonight July 27th I’m opting to publish my unfinished rambling with more four letter words to come, because after yet another interesting conversation I feel that the more important four letter word that I should be addressing is fear. I find that fear and love might just be more easily and more dangerously exchanged than lust. Although lust isn’t truly understood by most, I think there is a time in everyones life that they learn the difference, where most never see the relationship between love and fear. So on that note I publish and there will be more to come.

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